CHL Update: Redline D Shakovich Insults Coach, Injures Self

Indianapolis Redline D Stan Shakovich has had an excellent year. He’s in the top 10 in points in the league with 38, while also recording 87 blocks. With his strong performance, he’s likely put himself in position for an SHL contract next season.

However, Shakovich had a bad week, threatening to end his excellent season on a sour note. He made ill-advised remarks that offended his coach, then suffered a self-inflicted injury that threatens to put him out of commission for the rest of the season.

Shakovich’s troubles began on Thursday, when the Redline skated to a 3-3 tie against the struggling Fargo Flickertails. It was a missed opportunity for Indianapolis, which is jockeying for playoff position down the stretch. Shakovich had a decent game, with an assist and three blocks, but he also took a pair of third-period penalties that sapped his team’s momentum at a critical juncture.

After the game, Indianapolis coach Petr Kokrda singled out his blueliner as one of the reasons the Redline failed to pull out a win. “Stan took a couple of penalties in the third that were not smart,” said Kokrda. “I look to him as a leader on this team, so for him to set us back that was disappointing. I expect smarter play out of him.”

The comment clearly rubbed Shakovich the wrong way. When asked about it, the defenseman snapped: “I can’t win. I but my [behind] all year, put up great numbers, I get no praise. But I make a mistake in one game, and he jumps down my throat. What the hell?”

The defenseman’s voice got louder as he spoke. Fellow D Jon Rogers tried to calm Shakovich down, but Shakovich waved him off. “I tell you one thing,” Shakovich continued, his face turning bright red. “Next season, I’ll be back in the SHL where I belong, but [Kokrda] won’t be. You know why? Because he’s a lousy [expletive] coach! A donkey could coach this team and do a better job!”

Just then, Kokrda rounded the corner and pointed at Shakovich. “All right, that’s a $100 fine,” the coach said.

“Good,” retorted the defenseman, “now maybe you can go on Wheel of Fortune and buy a vowel.”

“Excuse me?” said Kokrda. The coach took a couple steps toward Shakovich, but Rogers grabbed his linemate and dragged him off to the shower before he could get himself in any further trouble.

Shakovich cooled down after a while, and the team filed onto a bus heading for the airport. When they arrived, however, Shakovich missed a step coming down and fell onto the asphalt. In addition to suffering a split lip and a couple chipped teeth, he split his knee open, and it required several stitches to close. The injury is expected to sideline Shakovich for at least a week, and it may bring a premature end to his season.

“Just my luck,” said the defenseman. “The best season of my career, and then I fall down the stairs and [screw] it up.”

The defenseman did catch one break, however: Kokrda rescinded the $100 fine. “I think Stan has suffered enough on this trip,” said the coach. “And he’ll have plenty of time to think about choosing his words more carefully while he’s recovering.”

CHL Update: Williams Under Fire After Obscene Tirade

In what can only be described as a meltdown of epic proportions, Fargo Flickertails coach Harvey Williams found himself at the center of controversy after his team’s disheartening 4-2 loss to the Virginia Rhinos on Saturday. The defeat marked Fargo’s eighth consecutive game without a win, a dismal streak that has seen them plummet from a seemingly comfortable playoff position to falling out of contention entirely.

Known for his fiery temper and penchant for colorful language, Williams did not mince words in his 30-minute, closed-door post-game address to his team. Eyewitnesses report that the coach unleashed a torrent of expletives and insults directed at his players, expressing his profound frustration and disappointment with their lackluster performance.

“I’ve never seen anything like it, even from Coach Williams.” said one anonymous source within the organization. “He was absolutely livid. He didn’t hold anything back. It was like a scene out of a locker room from hell.”

Harvey Williams

According to another source, the highlight (or lowlight) of the tirade occurred when Williams dropped his pants and grabbed hold of his genitals. “These are balls,” he explained to the team. “I thought you should [expletive] see what they look like, since it seems like none of you [expletives] has a pair. I thought you did, but lately I’ve changed my [expletive] mind.” He also threatened to defecate on the floor, because “you’ve been playing like [crap] the last few weeks, and you should have to see what I’ve been seeing.”

Once he opened the doors and let the media in, Williams offered his unfiltered thoughts on the team’s recent struggles. “I’m sick and [expletive] tired of watching these guys piss away opportunities,” he said, his voice dripping with disdain. “I’d rather be sitting at a bar, drowning my sorrows in whiskey, than wasting my time with this sorry [expletive] excuse for a team. Honestly, I might have to start bringing a flask on the bench. Nobody should have to watch this team sober.”

The outburst was regarded by most players as typical Williams behavior. However, not everyone was so blasé about the incident. RW Fletcher Queen, who joined the team in a trade last week and is not yet familiar with the coach’s eccentric personality, expressed his displeasure with Williams’ behavior. “It’s unacceptable,” Queen stated firmly. “We deserve better treatment than that. We’re out here busting our [behinds] every night, and to be berated like that by our own coach is just plain wrong.”

Williams, however, was quick to dismiss Queen’s criticism, telling him to “man up” and “grow a pair.” “This isn’t a tea party, [expletive]” Williams retorted. “This is professional hockey. If you can’t handle a little tough love, then maybe you should go take up interior decorating. I knew we never should have added a guy named Queen to our team. If we hadn’t started losing before he got here, I’d say it was his fault.”

Although the coach more frequently directs his outlandish behavior at referees and reporters, this is not the first time he has vented his displeasure at his players. Last season, he urinated on the ice during practice to express his unhappiness with the team’s play. This outburst, however, suggests that the relationship between Williams and the players is souring at a critical juncture of the season.

The fallout from Williams’ tirade has cast a dark cloud over the Flickertails organization, raising questions about the coach’s leadership style and the team’s ability to turn their season around. With tensions running high and morale at an all-time low, the road ahead looks increasingly daunting for the struggling franchise.

As the dust settles and the Flickertails attempt to regroup, one thing remains clear: drastic changes are needed if Fargo hopes to salvage their season and replay last season’s underdog run to the CHL Finals. Whether Williams is the man to lead them out of the darkness or if he has finally worn out his welcome with the organization remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: the clock is ticking, and the pressure is on for the embattled coach and his beleaguered squad.

CHL Update: Can Anyone Take the East’s Last Playoff Spot?

As we approach the two-thirds mark of the CHL season, the playoff races are coming into focus. Out West, the Thunder Bay Kestrels and Colorado Springs Zoomies are on track to claim the top two spots, while three other teams – the Fargo Flickertails, Indianapolis Redline, and Spokane Zebras – are duking it out for the other two playoff berths. The Omaha Ashcats and Idaho Spuds, meanwhile, are effectively – if not yet mathematically – out of the running,

The East is a different story. Similar to the West, two teams – in this case, the Oshawa Drive and Virginia Rhinos – are comfortably ahead of the pack. The Cincinnati Bluebirds seem unlikely to catch Oshawa and Virginia, but they should have third place solidly in hand. That leaves one remaining playoff spot up for grabs, and four teams – all flawed, all with losing records, all with some clear strengths and distinct weaknesses, desperately chasing that spot.

“Somebody’s going to get that [playoff] spot, because the rules say you have to have eight teams in the playoffs,” said Roland Tedesco, coach of the Halifax Atlantics, one of the four teams in the chase. “But who’s the favorite? There isn’t one. Whoever’s least bad down the stretch, I guess.”

If the season ended today, the Portland Gulls would claim the fourth spot. The Gulls – CHL affiliate of the Rhode Island Seekers – have proven, like their parent club, to be more competitive than expected this season. All four teams in this demolition derby have below-average offense, but Portland’s is the best of the lot, averaging a shade over 2.5 goals per game. RW Horton Behring leads the Gulls’ attack with 16 goals, tied for third in the CHL.

“Horton is going to be an offensive force in the SHL someday,” said Gulls coach Rex Claymore. “He’s got a big-league shot and a big-league scorer’s instinct. “He’s going to do some damage when he gets up there.”

Unfortunately, the Gulls’ fast-paced style of play leaves them vulnerable to rushes at the other end. Portland allows over 30.5 shots per game. Thanks to solid performances from their goalies – collectively producing a .907 save percentage – they’re managing a 2.80 GAA, 11^th in the league. Their performance in net took a hit when the Seekers called up Carson Wagner (9-12-2, 2.75 GAA, .908 save percentage) at the All-Star break. His replacement, Yorke Baxter, has been a step back (3-3-0, 3.14, .896), though it has yet to cost them in the standings.

A point behind Portland are two teams built very much in the same image – and the opposite of the Gulls. The Atlantics and the Hartford Harpoons are both scrapping, trapping teams that try to frustrate opponents in the neutral zone and slow the pace of the game. In this way, Halifax and Hartford resemble their parent clubs, the Quebec Tigres and Boston Badgers, respectively. However, they lack the high-end scorers that their big-league counterparts possess, and therefore struggle to win even with quality defense.

The Harpoons are a slightly less extreme case. Their defense allows  a meager 26.2 shots per game – third-fewest in the league – and their solid goaltending, led by Coleman Tremont (13-15-1, 2.16, .918) turns aside the vast majority of shots that find their way to the net. As a result, their GAA is a slender 2.24, fourth in the league. They’re especially strong on the penalty kill, thwarting 86.6% of enemy chances, second-best in the circuit.

Unfortunately, Harrford’s offense is even feebler than that of their opponents. They score fewer than 2 goals per game on fewer than 25 shots a game. Their leading scorer, RW Henry Van Alpin, has just 10 goals – and he scored four of them in one night.

As unbalanced as Hartford’s game looks, Halifax’s is even worse. Only Cincinnati has lower-event games (in terms of total shots by both teams) than the Atlantics – but Cincinnati comfortably outshoots their opponents, and Halifax does not. Ordinarily, a team that held opponents to a 2.19 GAA, third-slimmest figure in the CHL, should be a playoff squad. But the Atlantics are offensively helpless. They manage a league-low 24.3 shots per game, and thanks to a putrid 7.1% shooting percentage, they’ve managed a measly 1.7 goals a game – worse than Hartford and every other team in the league by a wide margin.

The Atlantics do not have a fixed #1 goalie, rotating between Morgan Moore (12-9-1, 2.12, .914) and Jonathan Crane (4-13-0, 2.28, .901). Their leading scorer (with 10 goals) is 32-year-od LW Yann Eberlein, while their second-best, D Barrett Forbes (9 goals) has missed a third of the season with an injury.

“God bless our fans for sticking with us,” said Tedesco. “We’re not playing the prettiest brand of hockey. It’s hard for me to watch sometimes, and I get paid for it. Plus, I drink. Any of our fans who can watch our games sober deserves a medal.”

Currently in last place, three points behind Halifax and Hartford, sit the Scranton Electric Mules. Scranton is the only one of the four “contenders” with a positive plus-minus rating, at +6. Plus, they have the league’s leading scorer, D Dalton Weagle (19 goals). So why are they in last? Part of the reason is their dreadful performance on special teams. Their 12.5% power-play conversion rate is second worst in the league, as is their 78% penalty-kill percentage. Scranton also has a tough time staying out of the box; their 413 penalty minutes are second most in the CHL.

Defensively, the Mules also struggle, allowing the second-most shots per game (30.9). When Shawn Stickel (6-8-5, 2.46, .917) was their primary netminder, he was able to cover up some of Scranton’s defensive deficiencies. However, he was trade to the Kansas City Smoke in midseason and replaced by Odelis Chicoine, who has not quite been able to repeat Stickel’s heroics (3-9-0, 2.90, .905).

“We’re fine at 5-on-5,” said Scranton coach Sven Danielsen, “but we find ourselves in man-down situations too often, and it costs us too often. And when we’re in man-up situations, we haven’t managed to take advantage. If we’re going to make the playoffs, those are the areas we’ll need to focus on.”

Perhaps one of these four teams will catch fire over the last third of the season and take firm hold of that last playoff spot. But it seems at least as likely that this ungainly four-way race will continue, until one team comes out – however narrowly – on top.

CHL Update: East Rallies for All-Star Win

It’s a time-honored tradition that the coaches of the teams that meet in the CHL Finals each year coach the All-Star teams the following year. However, after the Fargo Flickertails made a surprise run to the Finals last year, some wondered if the league might make an exception. Because the Flickertails’ coach – and therefore in line to coach the Western All-Stars – is the infamous Harvey Williams, whose previous exploits include insulting reporters, mooning referees, and urinating on the ice during practice.

“I figured there was no way in hell they’d let me coach in this,” said Williams. “I figured there had to be a morals clause. Or they’d invent one, anyway. But here I am!  I’m as shocked as you bastards are.”

For the first half of Thursday’s 2024 CHL All-Star Game, it looked as though Williams, the unlikeliest All-Star coach, was going to be a winner. But the East rallied from a 3-1 deficit to post a 5-3 win in front of a happy crowd at Cincinnati Gardens.

“I guess me coaching in the All-Star Game, the league could handle that,” said Williams. “But me winning the game, obviously that was a bridge too far. Kind of like how they’d let me coach in the Finals, but not actually win. I’m sure if the commish had to hand me the trophy, he’d have a heart attack.”

The game got off to a fast start, with both teams firing shots and both goalies – the West’s Cecil Healy and the East’s Versan Dusic – turning them all aside. It wasn’t until past the midpoint of the first period that the East’s David Austin Rose scored on the power play to break the scoreless tie. The West struck back with just under 6 minutes remaining in the first, with RWs Ritchie Fields and Quinn Courtney scoring 32 seconds apart to put the West in front 2-1.

A minute and a half into the second period, LW R.T. Rosenthal – Fields’ teammate on the Indianapolis Redline – scored to put the West ahead 3-1. As the minutes ticked away, it looked increasing as though CHL Commissioner Denny McNerny might have to present Williams with the winner’s trophy after all.

But with just over 12 minutes remaining in the middle frame, C Grigoriy Demianovich scored on the East’s second shot of the period to start the comeback. Then with less than 5 minutes left in the second, D Harold Braintree scored the tying goal on the last of just six shots that the East managed in the period.

Both teams swapped goalies for the third period: Morgan Moore took over in net for the East, while rookie Davis Kingston stepped in for the West. The third period was less active than the first two, but with 7:27 remaining in regulation, LW Maurice Coutard scored on a blistering slapshot to put the East up 4-3.

The West got a break with 1:32 remaining, when East D Everett Martin was penalized for tripping, giving the visitors a late power play with a chance to tie the game.  But Demianovich took off on a breakaway and scored a shorthanded goal to seal the victory for the home team.

Demianovich, a rookie for the Scranton Electric Mules, was not even supposed to be on the All-Star team. He was a last-minute substitution for Cincinnati Bluebirds C Wilson Grace, who missed the game due to injury. But with his two-goal performance, the rookie center wound up receiving the MVP honors.

“It is great honor for me to have this award,” said Demianovich. “I never imagined to be here.”

Along with the MVP award, Demianovich received a living room suite supplied by American Signature Furniture, as well as a supply of Skyline Chili and Graeter’s ice cream, two signature Cincinnati-based products.

As for Williams, he took the loss in stride. “I just want you all to notice that I really behaved myself this week,” the coach said. “I kept my pants on the whole time, I stayed basically sober, I didn’t try to slug anybody, and I barely swore at all. So it turns out I can be a good little boy when I need to be. Color me shocked, too.”