CHL Update: West Wins All-Star Goalfest

All-Star Games are generally not famous for their defense.  There’s no glory in blocking shots or wall work in an All-Star contest, and certainly nobody wants to risk getting hurt.  So games generally turn into shooting galleries, and high scores are commonplace.

Even by All-Star standards, though, Thursday’s CHL All-Star Game at the Utah Owls’ Wasatch Arena was an offensive showcase.  The teams delivered a high-octane contest at high altitude, combining for 97 shots, filling the arena with the booming crack of slapper after slapper.

“It was a total gong show out there,” said West coach Patrick Chillingham.  “It seemed like as soon as you got the puck on your stick, if you could see the goal, you were shooting.”

In the end, the Western squad managed to hold off the visitors from the East, taking the win by the preposterous and magnificent score of 9-6.  “That’s not a hockey score,” said Owls RW Harris Wondolowski, who had two of those goals.  “It’s a football score.”

At first, the contest seemed fairly even.  After a mere 14 minutes, the scored stood 3-3.  When neither team scored over the final six minutes of the first period, the buzz in the arena quieted; the fans seemed a little bored when the goal light wasn’t flashing constantly.

It was the second period when the West took firm control of the game.  The East actually took a brief 4-3 lead when Baltimore Blue Crabs LW Alan Youngman cashed in on a slapshot from the left faceoff circle.  But then the West scored three straight goals in a six-minute span to seize the momentum of the game for good.  Omaha Ashcats D Trevor Lockwood tipped a shot past the East’s netminder, the Cleveland CenturionsEugene Looney, a little over six minutes into the second to tie it up.  A couple minutes later, Minnesota Freeze D Laszlo Cierny scored on a blast from the blue line to put the West ahead.  Finally, Milwaukee Hogs LW Gabriel Swindonburg finished a breakway by going top-shelf on Looney for a two-goal Western lead.

“We were stuck chasing the game after that, kind of like a dog chasing a car down the street,” said East coach Jeffrey “Swampy” Marsh.  “And just like that dog, we never caught up.”

In a special moment for the hometown fans in Utah, Owls C Lloyd “Goofy” Banjax won MVP honors.  He assisted on all three of the West’s second period goals, and scored one of his own in the third to help put the game away.  Along with the award, Banjax received a Polaris Rush snowmobile, perfect for carving trails through the Wasatch Mountains.

“I don’t know if it was a good idea to give me one of those things,” said Banjax.  “I barely even have a drivers’ license.  But hey, I bet I could drive this thing through the lobby of a hotel.  That’d be fun!”

 

CHL All Star Game
East All Stars @ West All Stars, Wasatch Arena

                   1   2   3   OT   F
East All Stars     3   1   2        6
West All Stars     3   3   3        9

 
East All Stars         G   A PTS PIM +/-   West All Stars         G   A PTS PIM +/-

Youngman        LW     2   0   2   0   0   Sikanen         LW     2   0   2   0   0
Melicar         D      0   2   2   0   0   Black           D      0   0   0   0   0
Barnhill        C      1   2   3   0   0   Wilcox          C      0   2   2   0   0
Bodett          D      1   2   3   0   0   Prussian        D      0   1   1   0   0
Brandon         RW     0   1   1   0   0   van der Veen    RW     0   1   1   0   0
Laronov         LW     1   1   2   0   1   Cresson         LW     0   0   0   0  -1
Morrison        D      0   2   2   0  -1   Cierny          D      1   2   3   0   1
Macy            C      1   0   1   0   1   Culp            C      0   2   2   0  -1
Druzek          D      0   0   0   0  -1   Sharkey         D      0   1   1   0   1
Archer          RW     0   2   2   0   1   Wondolowski     RW     2   0   2   0  -1
Pescatelli      LW     0   0   0   0  -5   Swindonburg     LW     1   1   2   0   5
Corbetta        D      0   0   0   0  -3   Lockwood        D      1   0   1   0   3
Brooks          C      0   0   0   0  -5   Banjax          C      1   3   4   0   5
Cullidge        D      0   0   0   0  -3   Werner          D      0   3   3   0   3
Delorme         RW     0   0   0   0  -5   Hagendosh       RW     1   1   2   0   5
----------------------------------------   ----------------------------------------
TOTALS                 6  12  18   0  -4   TOTALS                 9  17  26   0   4

Scratches:
EAS:  none
WAS:  none

 
East All Stars      SH    SV    G    Sv%
----------------------------------------
Looney              29    23    6  0.793
Crane               22    19    3  0.864

West All Stars      SH    SV    G    Sv%
----------------------------------------
Sanford             24    20    4  0.833
Freeze              22    20    2  0.909

 

First Period
------------

GOALS:
00:53  EAS  Barnhill (Brandon, Melicar)
03:00  WAS  Hagendosh (Sharkey, Cierny)
10:17  WAS  Sikanen (Werner, Wilcox)
10:37  EAS  Laronov (Bodett, Melicar)
11:29  WAS  Wondolowski (Cierny, Culp)
13:57  EAS  Youngman (Barnhill, Morrison)

PENALTIES:
None

Second Period
-------------

GOALS:
02:40  EAS  Youngman (Barnhill, Bodett)
06:17  WAS  Lockwood (Werner, Banjax)
08:07  WAS  Cierny (Banjax, Swindonburg)
12:26  WAS  Swindonburg (Banjax)

PENALTIES:
None

Third Period
------------

GOALS:
04:24  EAS  Macy (Morrison, Archer)
05:30  WAS  Banjax (Hagendosh, Prussian)
11:45  WAS  Wondolowski (Werner, Culp)
12:24  EAS  Bodett (Archer, Laronov)
16:58  WAS  Sikanen (Wilcox, van der Veen)

PENALTIES:
None


 
SHOTS
------
                   1   2   3   OT   F
East All Stars    11  13  22       46
West All Stars    15  14  22       51

 
POWER PLAYS
-----------

East All Stars   0 for 0
West All Stars   0 for 0

 
INJURIES
--------

None

CHL Update: Rhinos Coach Shares Postgame Poetry

Virginia Rhinos coach Jeffrey Marsh has a well-earned reputation as something of a flake.  Despite the fact that he has guided his team to back-to-back division titles and a CHL championship, Marsh is best known for his off-kilter sense of humor.  People around the league still talk about the nonsensical press conference he gave after a blowout loss last season.  This year, another big loss inspired another kooky Marsh postgame appearance.

On Saturday, Marsh’s Rhinos were pummeled 6-2 by the Omaha Ashcats.  After the game, Marsh stood in front of the usual gaggle of reporters and took a different tack.  “Look, I know you guys probably have lots of questions,” the coach began.  “But instead of answering them, I have a statement that represents my feelings about the game, and should answer any questions you might have.”

Jeffrey Marsh

Marsh then proceeded to read, word for word, the 1956 poem “Howl” by Allen Ginsberg.  The poem, which was reportedly inspired by a Ginsberg drug trip, laments the destruction of the Beat Generation by war, government, and capitalism.

After he finished the poem, there was a brief awkward silence.  Marsh then briskly said, “Everybody all set, then?  Good.  You can quote me on all of that.”  He then walked away, leaving a confused room in his wake.

Last year’s performance, in which Marsh replied to questions with a bizarre mishmash of song lyrics and nonsense phrases, prompted concern that he was suffering a mental breakdown or a substance abuse problem.  This time, reporters recognized it as a stunt and wrote about it accordingly.

“Last night’s 6-2 Rhinos loss was so bad that coach Jeffrey Marsh didn’t want to talk about it,” began one story.  “Instead, Marsh tried taking reporters to school, standing up and reciting a poem most of us haven’t thought about since college.”

“Possibly the highlight of last night’s shellacking was Marsh’s postgame poetry reading,” read another.  “He wasn’t wearing a beret and a black turtleneck, but he might as well have been.”

Just as he did last year, Marsh chalked up his performance to postgame frustration.  “I mean, it was a terrible game and we got killed. What is there to say?” he said.  “Most of the time, I’m willing to play the game and give you all the boring clichés you expect, but once a year, I just can’t handle it.  It’s all right if I snap once a year, right?”

The coach added another defense of his postgame antics: “Besides, ‘Howl’ is a great poem, and everyone should read it!  I’m doing my part to enhance our cultural literacy.”

Continue reading “CHL Update: Rhinos Coach Shares Postgame Poetry”

CHL Update: Rhinos Freeze Minnesota for First Title

The Virginia Rhinos came into this year’s CHL season with some unfinished business.  The Saskatchewan Shockers affiliate had a strong season in 2017 and felt that they should have won the Howard Trophy, the league’s championship.  But in the Finals, they ran into the Utah Owls and red-hot goalie Sherman Carter, and suffered an upset loss in five games.

“We all felt really unhappy about the way last year ended,” said D Rennie Cox.  “It’s like eating a great meal and then having your dessert taken away.  We were all hungry for revenge.”

Once the Rhinos made it to the postseason, they were not to be denied.  They barreled through the Eastern playoff, dismissing the Oshawa Drive in a three-game sweep.  Then in the Finals, it took Virginia only five games to knock off the Minnesota Freeze and claim their long-awaited trophy.

“I was impressed with how focused our team was,” said Rhinos coach Jeffrey “Swampy” Marsh.  “Everyone in here was willing to work hard and do whatever it took to get this done.”

Virginia’s path to the championship started with an epic battle at Northwoods Auditorium.  The Rhinos got off to an early two-goal lead, but the Freeze rallied with a pair in the third to force overtime; the game-tying blast from D Brian Coldivar came with just 1:20 left in regulation.  The game wound up lasting until the third overtime, making it the longest contest in league history.  Finally, 37 seconds into the sixth period, RW Chris Quake pounced on a loose puck in front of the crease and putting it past Minnesota goalie Curt Freeze for a 3-2 win.  “Honestly, we were all kind of too tired to celebrate,” said Quake.

The Rhinos were able to shake off their exhaustion in time for Game 2.  They got off to a fast start, scoring three goals in the first six and a half minutes, and cruised to a 4-2 win,  Goalie Gus Parrish made 35 stops to back up his team’s offensive effort.  “Winning the first two games on enemy ice, that was huge,” said Marsh.  “It really put us in the catbird seat for the series.”

With the action shifting back to Tidewater for Game 3, Virginia outshot Minnesota 41-28.  Although Freeze made a valiant effort to keep his team in it, the Rhinos tied it up on a Cox slapper with 9:44 remaining, then got the game-winner from LW Jayden Gunn in overtime for a 4-3 triumph.  Minnesota squeaked out a 1-0 win in Game 4 to avert the sweep, on the strength of LW Henry Van Alpin‘s power-play goal in the third period.  In addition to losing the game, the Rhinos lost C Cyril Perignon, one of their top scorers, to a lower-body injury.  But the Rhinos shook off the loss of their top center and finished things off in Game 5 with a big third period, striking three times with the man advantage to pull out a 5-3 win despite being outshot 32-19.

The post-game celebration was led by Cox, who was named Finals MVP after putting up 5 goals and 5 assists in the series.  “This was a real showcase for Rennie,” said Marsh.  “Unfortunately, I don’t think he’ll be playing for me next year, but that’s life in the minors.  Onward and upward!”

Now that the Rhinos have their title, many of the players (like Cox) are looking forward to joining the Shockers and helping them to a championship.  “We’ve got great chemistry here and we’ve accomplished a lot,” said C Cyril Perignon.  “The next step is for us to get up to the SHL and go from there.  We think we’ve got the nucleus of a potential Saskatchewan dynasty right here.”

Continue reading “CHL Update: Rhinos Freeze Minnesota for First Title”

CHL Update: Rhinos, Freeze Advance to Finals

The first round of the CHL playoffs mirrored the first round of the SHL playoffs in a number of ways.  One series ended in a sweep, with the victor headed to the finals for the second straight season, trying to avenge last year’s shocking loss.  The other series went the distance, with both teams holding serve on home ice; the winner is making their first-ever trip to the championship round.

In the East, the Virginia Rhinos felt as though they should have won the title last season, even though they were upended by Utah in 5 games in last season’s final.  “I think we all had the belief that the better team lost last time,” said C Cyril Perignon.  “We are on a mission of revenge.”

The Rhinos played with purpose and passion in the division playoff, dispatching the Oshawa Drive in three straight.  Despite the fact that Virginia thrived on scoring this season, they relied on stout defense to succeed in this playoff; they shut out the Drive in each of the first two games. They won Game 1 by a 4-0 margin, with C Tanner Brooks getting a short-handed goal to open the scoring and LW Yuri Laronov recording a power-play tally to end it.  The Rhinos eked out a 1-0 victory in Game 2, with RW “Real” Hank Diehl scoring the lone goal on a deflection early in the second period.  Goalie Gus Parrish was at the top of his game, turning aside 22 shots in the first game and 19 shots in the second.  In Game 3, with the series moving north of the border, Virginia opened up a 3-0 lead before D Ingolf Gudmundsen finally recorded the Drive’s first goal of the series late in the second period.  Oshawa LW Norris “Beaver” Young struck on the power play two minutes into the third period to close the gap to one, but they couldn’t muster the tying tally as the Rhinos completed the clean sweep.

“Everyone in this locker room is focused on one thing: winning the Howard Trophy,” said Rhinos coach Jeffrey “Swampy” Marsh.  “If we have to go over, under, around, or through our opponents to make it happen, that’s what we’re going to do.  We’re like Andy Dufresne in ‘Shawshank Redemption,’ climbing through that sewer pipe on our way to freedom.”

Meanwhile, the Minnesota Freeze had a bumpier road than the Rhinos did, as the Colorado Springs Zoomies pushed the series to the limit.  But like their parent club, the Anchorage Igloos, the Freeze survived and will advance to the Finals.

Game 1 was a back-and-forth affair, with the Freeze and Zoomies trading goals, and it ultimately went into overtime.  D Julian Staples ultimately nailed the game-winner six minutes into the extra session to give Minnesota a 4-3 win.  Game 2 was another close contest; Zoomies RW Joel Hagendosh got a short-handed goal midway through the third, and the game wound up in overtime once again.  One extra period wasn’t enough this time, but C Mason Alpine ended it a minute into the second OT with a slapper from the point that lifted Minnesota to a 3-2 victory.  Back home for Game 3, Colorado Springs kicked their offense into high-gear, rallying from a two-goal deficit to snatch a 6-4 win that staved off elimination.  In Game 4, the Zoomies made the most of the man advantage, scoring all three of their goals on the power play.  Even though the Freeze outshot them 39-23, Colorado Springs goalie Sonny Kashiuk stood on his head, making 38 saves in a 3-1 win.  In the winner-take-all Game 5, Minnesota again dominated on offense, outshooting the Zoomies 35-17.  But even though the Freeze scored four goals in a wide-open second period, the Zoomies hung tough, ultimately coming up short by a 5-4 score.

The Igloos sent their minor-league club a congratulatory video, with Anchorage players calling on their minor-league counterparts to help the organization capture both championship.  “We’re going to prove that we’re the best team right now,” said Igloos C Jake Frost.  “We’re hoping you guys can go out and prove that we’re going to win the future too.”

Although Minnesota finished the regular season 11 points ahead of Virginia, most observers expect a closely-fought battle in the Finals.  The Rhinos will be looking to win the title they felt they were robbed of last year, while the Freeze will be looking to make their parent club proud.  The series begins Sunday at Northwoods Auditorium in Duluth.

CHL Update: East Prevails In First All-Star Game

The SHL’s  minor league, the Continental Hockey League, held its first All-Star Game this week at Waterfront Center, home of the Virginia Rhinos.  The sell-out crowd in attendance was treated to a win for the home team, as the East built a big lead, then survived a late rally from the West to pull out a 6-4 victory.

“Nothing better than getting a big W in front of my home crowd!” said Rhinos coach Jeffrey Marsh, who was in charge of the Eastern squad.  “It almost makes up for losing in the Finals last year.  Almost.”

In addition to enjoying a fun and thrilling game, each fan in attendance received a special gift from the home team: a “superhero plush rhino” with Virginia’s logo on it (pictured).  The giveaway proved to be a big hit; examples were selling on eBay for as much as $50 after the games.  Marsh conducted his postgame press conference with one of the stuffed rhinos in his pocket.  “Adorable little fellow, isn’t he?” said the coach.  “Honestly, the only reason I agreed to coach this game was because they promised to give me one of these guys.”  Marsh then proceeded to make the rhino soar in circles over his head.

Much like Marsh’s rhino, the game got off to a flying start.  It took only 20 seconds for Rhinos D Rennie Cox to get the East on the board, banging a shot off the crossbar behind Colorado Springs Zoomies goalie Sonny Kashiuk.  19 seconds later, Zoomies C Dale Wilcox put one in from a severe angle to tie the game.

After the early scores, the teams settled in for a while.  But 5:41 into the game, Oshawa Drive RW Anders Pedersen tapped one in past Kashiukv to put the East back in front for good.  Baltimore Blue Crabs LW Rex Batten scored with five minutes left in the period to make it a 3-1 game.

The game threatened to turn into a rout, as the East scored twice more in the second period.  By the time Pedersen scored again on a power-play tally 1:14 into the third, the score stood at 6-1.

But the West made a game of it later on.  Minnesota Freeze D Brian Coldivar got the rally started with a hard slapper three minutes into the period.  A couple minutes later, the West got another score on a crazy shot that deflected multiple times before sneaking past Drive goalie Hector OrinocoMilwaukee Hogs C Vance Ketterman was credited with the goal.  When Hogs RW James Clay cashed in on a power play with 7:37 left in the game, it drew the West within two and caused the crowd to stir uncomfortably.  But Orinoco shut things down the rest of the way, and the East held on for the victory.

Pedersen, with his pair of goals, was recognized as the game’s MVP.  In addition to the award, Pedersen received a Chris-Craft boat.  “I have never had my own boat before,” Pedersen said.  “Maybe now I will have to start fishing or something.  What do you do in a boat?”

 

AllStarGame, West All-Stars @ East All-Stars, Waterfront Center

                   1   2   3   OT   F
West All-Stars     1   0   3        4
East All-Stars     3   2   1        6

 
West All-Stars         G   A PTS PIM +/-   East All-Stars         G   A PTS PIM +/-

Garcia          LW     0   1   1   0   0   Young           LW     0   0   0   0   0
Cargill         D      0   1   1   0  -1   Hermine         D      0   2   2   0   1
Wilcox          C      1   0   1   0   0   Collistone      C      0   0   0   0   0
Ochre           D      0   1   1   2  -1   Cox             D      1   0   1   2   1
Durien          RW     0   0   0   0   0   Pedersen        RW     2   0   2   0   0
Sikanen         LW     0   0   0   0   1   Laronov         LW     0   0   0   0  -1
Kerasov         D      0   1   1   0   1   Blacklett       D      0   0   0   0  -1
Everest         C      0   0   0   0   1   Perignon        C      0   0   0   0  -1
Coldivar        D      1   0   1   0   1   Melicar         D      0   0   0   0  -1
Clay            RW     1   1   2   0   1   Quake           RW     0   0   0   0  -1
Fleury          LW     0   0   0   0  -3   Batten          LW     1   1   2   2   3
Lockwood        D      0   1   1   0  -2   Hanlon          D      1   2   3   0   2
Ketterman       C      1   1   2   0  -3   Cage            C      1   1   2   0   3
DeShantz        D      0   1   1   2  -2   Olsson          D      0   1   1   0   2
Winters         RW     0   0   0   0  -3   Delorme         RW     0   3   3   0   3
----------------------------------------   ----------------------------------------
TOTALS                 4   8  12   4  -2   TOTALS                 6  10  16   4   2

Scratches:
WAS:  
EAS:  

 
West All-Stars      SH    SV    G    Sv%
----------------------------------------
Kashiuk             37    32    5  0.865
Ke. White           18    17    1  0.944

East All-Stars      SH    SV    G    Sv%
----------------------------------------
Crane               19    18    1  0.947
Orinoco             14    11    3  0.786

First Period
------------

GOALS:
00:20  EAS  Cox (Cage, Hermine)
00:39  WAS  Wilcox (DeShantz, Garcia)
05:41  EAS  Pedersen (Hanlon, Olsson)
15:09  EAS  Batten (Delorme)

PENALTIES:
06:27  WAS  Ochre 2:00 (Elbowing)

Second Period
-------------

GOALS:
07:47  EAS  Hanlon (Delorme, Batten)
08:06  EAS  Cage (Delorme, Hanlon)

PENALTIES:
15:07  EAS  Cox 2:00 (Elbowing)

Third Period
------------

GOALS:
01:14  EAS  Pedersen PP (Hermine)
03:02  WAS  Coldivar (Clay, Kerasov)
04:56  WAS  Ketterman (Ochre, Cargill)
12:23  WAS  Clay PP (Ketterman, Lockwood)

PENALTIES:
00:51  WAS  DeShantz 2:00 (Slashing)
12:12  EAS  Batten 2:00 (Clipping)


 
SHOTS
------
                   1   2   3   OT   F
West All-Stars    10   9  14       33
East All-Stars    19  18  18       55

 
POWER PLAYS
-----------

West All-Stars   1 for 2
East All-Stars   1 for 2

 
INJURIES
--------

None

2018 CHL All-Star Rosters

This year, the SHL’s minor league will also be holding an All-Star Game.  The game will take place at Waterfront Center, home of the Virginia Rhinos. The rosters for the game, along with each player’s current stats, are below.

EAST ALL-STARS

Coach: Jeffrey “Swampy” Marsh (Virginia)

 

First Line

LW: Norris “Beaver” Young, Oshawa (15 G, 27 A, 42 Pts, 10 PIM, +19)

D: Gary Hermine,  Oshawa (11 G, 28 A, 39 Pts, 16 PIM, +20)

C: Pat “Stoner” Collistone, Oshawa (17 G, 26 A, 43 Pts, 8 PIM, +19)

D: Rennie Cox, Virginia (15 G, 20 A, 35 Pts, 4 PIM, +7)

RW: Anders Pedersen, Oshawa (12 G, 25 A, 37 Pts, 23 PIM, +19)

 

Second Line

LW: Yuri Laronov, Virginia (17 G, 19 A, 36 Pts, 16 PIM, -2)

D: Blake Blacklett, Virginia (14 G, 19 A, 33 Pts, 26 PIM, +7)

C: Cyril Perignon, Virginia (17 G, 24 A, 41 Pts, 0 PIM, +2)

D: Ambroz Melicar, Baltimore (12 G, 21 A, 33 Pts, 8 PIM, +3)

RW: Chris Quake, Virginia (6 G, 24 A, 30 Pts, 20 PIM, -2)

 

Third Line

LW: Rex Batten, Baltimore (11 G, 21 A, 32 Pts, 31 PIM, Even)

D: Kirby Hanlon, Maine (6 G, 12 A, 18 Pts, 20 PIM, +1)

C: Phoenix Cage, Cleveland (7 G, 17 A, 24 Pts, 6 PIM, -9)

D: Hampus Olsson, Maine (6 G, 8 A, 14 Pts, 6 PIM, +1)

RW: Felix Delorme, Hartford (11 G, 12 A, 23 Pts, 6 PIM, -12)

 

Goalies

Jonathan Crane, Maine (10-8-3, 2.06 GAA, .917 save %)

Hector Orinoco, Oshawa (15-6-0, 2.75 GAA, .896 save %)

 

WEST ALL-STARS

Coach: Wiley Kiyotie (Utah)

 

First Line

LW: Diego Garcia, Utah (8 G, 23 A, 31 Pts, 10 PIM, -1)

D: Steve Cargill, Milwaukee (7 G, 23 A, 30 Pts, 48 PIM, +8)

C: Dale Wilcox, Colorado Springs (12 G, 19 A, 31 Pts, 29 PIM, +13)

D: Georg Ochre, Muncie (5 G, 21 A, 26 Pts, 49 PIM, +12)

RW: Philippe Durien, Colorado Springs (24 G, 22 A, 46 Pts, 22 PIM, +13)

 

Second Line

LW: Veikko Sikanen, Omaha (15 G, 15 A, 30 Pts, 23 PIM, +5)

D: Brian Coldivar, Minnesota (12 G, 14 A, 26 Pts, 18 PIM, +6)

C: Tanner Everest, Minnesota (7 G, 24 A, 31 Pts, 18 PIM, +7)

D: Rudolf Kerasov, Minnesota (8 G, 17 A, 25 Pts, 22 PIM, +6)

RW: James Clay, Milwaukee (8 G, 22 A, 30 Pts, 16 PIM, +3)

 

Third Line

LW: Jean Pierre Fleury, Minnesota (14 G, 11 A, 25 Pts, 14 PIM, +8)

D: Trevor Lockwood, Omaha (7G, 17 A, 24 Pts, 53 PIM, -1)

C: Vance KettermanMilwaukee (11 G, 15 A, 26 Pts, 12 PIM, +3)

D: Duncan DeShantz, Colorado Springs (4 G, 18 A, 22 Pts, 45 PIM, +17)

RW: Mark Winters, Minnesota (7 G, 20 A, 27 Pts, 24 PIM, +7)

 

Goalies

Sonny Kashiuk, Colorado Springs (20-3-1, 1.57 GAA, .943 save %)

Kelvin White, Muncie (12-10-0, 1.85 GAA, .937 save %)

CHL Update: Virginia Coach Gives Bizarre Interview

Jeffrey Marsh

Virginia Rhinos coach Jeffrey Marsh was widely hailed as a genius last season when he took his team to the Eastern Division title and an appearance in the CHL Finals.  His reputation has taken a hit this season, as the Rhinos have stumbled to a sub-.500 record on the heels of a recent seven-game skid.  Things went from bad to worse for Marsh this week after a surreal post-game press conference that left reporters baffled and had some wondering whether Marsh was drunk or stoned.

After Saturday’s 7-2 loss to the Maine Moose, Marsh addressed reporters as usual.  But rather then offering the standard platitudes about effort and improving the team’s execution, the coach’s answers were a string of bizarre non-sequiturs.  Asked what he had seen on the ice during the game, Marsh replied: “Dinosaurs and fire trucks, mostly.”  When a reporter asked him to evaluate his team’s defensive effort, the coach said, “Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog’s eye.”  Questioned about whether C Cyril Perignon seemed to be pushing too hard to overcome his recent scoring drought, Marsh stated: “Partly cloudy, with a 50% chance of rain later in the week.”

After a couple more questions and answers in this vein, reporters began asking Marsh if he was all right.  The coach’s answer: “Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo.”  At this point, a Rhinos staffer ended the interview and escorted Marsh from the podium.

The stories the next day focused less on the outcome of the game and more on Marsh’s mental state.  One article focused on the coach’s “incoherent ranting and raving”; another described Marsh as “coming unglued in front of a live audience.”  Still another piece claimed that the coach “appeared visibly drunk or high,” and described his press-conference performance as “a strange, sad, and embarrassing mess.”

At Virginia’s morning skate the next day, Marsh clarified the reason behind his apparent madness.  He said that he had not been fueled by booze or drugs; rather, by boredom and frustration.  “Let’s be honest,” the coach said.  “These post-game pressers, it’s really just a dance.  You need something to write in your stories, so I get up there and do a little soft-shoe and spout some blah-blah coach speak.  Right?  That’s the deal.

“Well, yesterday I didn’t feel like doing the dance.  The game sucked, and I didn’t have anything interesting or meaningful to say about it.  They told me I’d get fined if I just skipped the press conference.  So instead I went up there and talked nonsense.  Maybe not my finest hour, but hey, it made your stories more interesting, right?”

He added that the front office has talked to him about his behavior.  “I’m sorry I was a bad boy and I promise not to do it again.”

Rhinos GM Ken Lindstrom, asked about Marsh’s antics, laughed and rolled his eyes.  “Look, this is Swampy we’re talking about here,” Lindstrom said.  “He’s an old goalie, and we know most goalies have a screw loose.  He’s frustrated about how we’re doing this year, and I get that.  I am too.  But I reminded him that [reporters] have a job to do too, and when he gets up there and goes all Bob Dylan on us, he’s making it hard for you to do your job.  He gets it.”

Lindstrom paused and added with a wry smile, “I thought about asking him to take a drug test, just to be sure.  But this is just Swampy being Swampy.”