Night’s Foster Calls Bliss “Soft”

New York Night coach Nick Foster, who has earned a reputation around the league for taking verbal jabs at opposing teams, seems to have identified a new target for this season: the Hershey Bliss.  New York traveled to Hershey to face the Bliss on Sunday.  After the Night sent the Bliss fans home unhappy with a 5-1 beatdown, Foster added insult to injury by firing some salvos at the Keystone club, accusing them of being soft.

Nick Foster

Foster wasted no time jabbing at the Bliss in his postgame press conference.  “Hey, I’ve got a mystery for you guys,” the coach told reports.  “Can anyone tell me how Hershey managed to luck into the Vandy two years ago?  All these old-time hockey types talk about how hard-nosed defense wins championships.  So how did a team like Hershey, who’s as soft as a roll of Charmin, manage to win one?  They must have bribed somebody.”

Pressed to elaborate, Foster cheerfully did so.  “I mean, look at who they’ve got.  Their top line is basically a boy band in skates.  Those cuties are afraid to muss up their hair, much less lose a tooth or get a black eye.  Their top blueliner [Reese Milton] plays with squirrels.  They had one guy who could fight worth a damn [Ruslan Gromov], but he retired.

“They’ll take a few cheap shots here and there, but challenge them to back it up, and they run and hide.  But if you so much as look cross-eyed at any of those cute little boy banders, they’ll cry and scream to the officials.”

Foster went on to claim that other teams shared his view of the Bliss.  “Everyone knows how soft they are.  Ask around the league, and people will tell you about it… off the record.  No one wants to say it on the record, because the league wants to make stars out of the boy-band cuties.  Apparently they think we can tap into the 12-year-old girl fanbase.  But I’ll say it out loud, even if no one else does.”

Justin Valentine

The Bliss responded with a few pokes of their own.  “I don’t know whether we bribed anybody or not, but I do know that we have a ring and [Foster] doesn’t,” said C Justin Valentine.  “And I know we worked and fought hard to get there.  Also, I don’t know why he keeps calling me ‘cute.’  I guess I’m flattered?”

“I’m mad that [Foster] seems to be biased against squirrel lovers,” said Milton.  “But if he or any of his players want to fight about it, I’m ready to go!”

“Everybody knows what Nick’s up to at this point, and I’m not interested in rolling around in the mud with him,” said Bliss coach Chip Barber.  “I’ll just say that there are plenty of fake tough guys out there, all talk and no action.  Our game is as smooth as melted couverture chocolate, and that’s how we like it.”

The New York coach went on to claim that his team now “owns” the Bliss, and predicted that his team will sweep the season series against Hershey.

“We’ve got plenty more games yet to come,” said Foster.  “It’s a long season, and it separates the men from the boys.  You’ll see.”

Game 5, New York @ Hershey, Chocolate Center

                   1   2   3   OT   F
New York           1   2   2        5
Hershey            1   0   0        1

 
New York               G   A PTS PIM +/-   Hershey                G   A PTS PIM +/-

Winchester      LW     0   1   1   0   1   Sweet           LW     0   0   0   0  -1
Nurmi           D      1   1   2   2   2   Milton          D      0   0   0   0  -2
Manning         C      0   0   0   0   1   Valentine       C      0   0   0   0  -1
Sanchez         D      0   2   2   0   2   Baldwin         D      0   0   0   0  -2
Nelson          RW     1   0   1   0   1   Hart            RW     0   0   0   0  -1
Petronov        LW     0   0   0   0   2   Nahorniak       LW     0   0   0   0  -2
Winkle          D      0   0   0   0   0   Meloche         D      0   0   0   2   0
Remington       C      2   0   2   0   2   Kirkpatrick     C      0   0   0   0  -2
Duckworth       D      0   1   1   0   0   Cargill         D      0   0   0   0   0
Trujwirnek      RW     0   0   0   0   2   Montrechere     RW     0   0   0   0  -2
Fleming         LW     1   1   2   0   1   Kulkarov        D      0   0   0   2  -2
Gladchuk        D      0   0   0   0   2   Daniels         RW     0   1   1   2  -1
Hoffman         C      0   1   1   0   1   Chappelle       D      0   0   0   0  -2
Hitchcock       D      0   0   0   0   2   Lapointe        F      1   0   1   0  -1
Catarino        RW     0   0   0   0   1   Ketterman       C      0   1   1   2  -1
----------------------------------------   ----------------------------------------
TOTALS                 5   7  12   2   4   TOTALS                 1   2   3   8  -4

Scratches:
NY:  Brank, Ruger, Gauss
HSY:  Danielsen, Aubin, Minnik

 
New York            SH    SV    G    Sv%
----------------------------------------
Clarkson            37    36    1  0.973

Hershey             SH    SV    G    Sv%
----------------------------------------
Colt                35    30    5  0.857

 

First Period
------------

GOALS:
00:21  HSY  Lapointe (Daniels, Ketterman)
03:28  NY   Remington (Nurmi, Sanchez)

PENALTIES:
None


Second Period
-------------

GOALS:
01:44  NY   Fleming (Hoffman, Duckworth)
03:11  NY   Nurmi (Sanchez, Fleming)

PENALTIES:
12:26  HSY  Meloche 2:00 (Elbowing)
18:50  HSY  Ketterman 2:00 (Roughing)
19:58  HSY  Daniels 2:00 (Delay of Game)

Third Period
------------

GOALS:
00:24  NY   Nelson (Winchester)
01:48  NY   Remington (Unassisted)

PENALTIES:
08:20  NY   Nurmi 2:00 (High-sticking)
17:50  HSY  Kulkarov 2:00 (Tripping)


 
SHOTS
------
                   1   2   3   OT   F
New York           8  10  17       35
Hershey           15  10  12       37

 
POWER PLAYS
-----------

New York         0 for 4
Hershey          0 for 1

 
INJURIES
--------

None
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