The Utah Owls have had a number of challenges as they’ve sought to compete in the CHL’s Western division this season. They are geographically remote from most of the other teams in the league, which means that they’ve had to travel more than any team other than Albuquerque. They suffered a blow early in the season when their parent club, the New York Night, promoted several of their best players.
Now the Owls face a new challenge: finding a place to stay when they play the Muncie Squirrels. The hotels in Muncie issued a joint statement today banning the Owls from staying at their establishments due to “a pattern of disruptive and inappropriate behavior that has left us unwilling to host them going forward.”
The statement, which was signed by the management of every hotel in Muncie, provided a lengthy list of the many, many hijinks the Owls had committed during their stays in the city. Some of the highlights included:
- Placing wake-up calls at odd hours for guests in other rooms
- Holding water-balloon fights in the halls
- Stealing the maid’s carts and using them to hold drag races in the lobby
- Making mass quantities of waffles and then using them to play Ultimate Frisbee in the dining room
- Falling asleep on the front desk
- Holding howling contests in the stairwells in the middle of the night
The statement noted that the managers of several hotels where the Owls stayed had attempted to work with the team to get their players to cool it, to no avail. They also noted that the Owls had refused to pay bills for cleaning services or damage caused by some of their more adventurous escapades.
“While we would like to be able to welcome the Owls to our hotels, we have learned the hard way that housing them will only lead to chaos in the halls, angry guests, and a very real risk of serious property damage,” the statement continued. “Therefore, we have no choice but to bar the Owls from staying with us.”
By all accounts, the Owls are a rowdy traveling crew, and they have reportedly been barred from individual hotels in other places. However, this is the first time that a team has been banned from staying in an entire city.
“This is just crazy,” said Owls coach Wiley Kiyotie. “I know our guys like to have fun, and sometimes it gets a little out of hand. But come on, you can’t kick us out of the entire city!”
Utah C Lloyd “Goofy” Banjax shared his coach’s outrage at the move. “It’s not like there’s anything to do in Muncie,” said Banjax. “So yeah, we usually wind up hanging around the hotel and raising a little hell. But it’s not like we’re throwing our beds out the window and into the pool or anything. Okay, there was that one time.”
Assuming the ban holds, the Owls have some lodging options, which Kiyotie said the team is considering. They could stay in Indianapolis, which is about an hour away from Muncie. They could rent a bus and have the team sleep there. “And of course,” said the Utah coach, “there’s always Airbnb.”