Our interview of the week is with New York Night RW Rick “The Stick” Nelson.
SHL Digest: We are here today with Rick “The Stick” Nelson, one of the stars of the New York Night.
Rick Nelson: It must be an honor for you to get to speak with me.
SHLD: Um, sure. So, according to fan polls around the league, you are the least popular player in the SHL. How do you feel about that?
RN: Well, I attribute most of that to jealousy. Every team wishes they had a player as great as me. They don’t, so naturally they resent me.
SHLD: Do you think that’s it? After all, there are a lot of talented players in this league, and a lot of good goal scorers-
RN: Maybe so, but in terms of the total package, it doesn’t get better than me.
SHLD: Okay. Would you care to comment on the incident from last week?
RN: What incident are you talking about?
SHLD: There was a 6-year-old child who asked for your autograph, and you yelled at the kid until she cried.
RN: Oh, that.
SHLD: There was a YouTube video and everything.
RN: Yeah, I’ve gotten a lot of static about that. But people don’t know the real story.
SHLD: What is the real story?
RN: The kid just wanted my autograph to sell it.
SHLD: A 6-year-old was going to sell your autograph?
RN: I know a scam when I see one. She looked cute, but she was a hustler at heart.
SHLD: Oooh-kay. So, your team is currently in last place in the East. Isn’t that pretty disappointing?
RN: That’s not my fault.
SHLD: We never said it was. But surely you expected to be better than this.
RN: Listen, this team is way too talented to be in last place all season. We’re poised for a comeback. Even if I have to make that happen single-handedly.
SHLD: Is that possible?
RN: Of course it is. Remember, you’re in the presence of greatness.
SHLD: Riiiiight. Well, thanks for your time, Rick.
RN: I’m getting paid for this, right?
(Editor’s Note: He was not, in fact, getting paid for this.)