On the surface, it seems like things are going well for the Washington Galaxy. The team has been at or close to the top of the standings throughout the season to date. But beneath the surface, according to sources close to the team, a tension is building. The source of that tension: a chocolate-theme jingle performed by a trio of singing cows.
This week, the Galaxy came to Hershey to play the Bliss. Coach Rodney Reagle, figuring it was a good opportunity for the new team to bond, brought the Galaxy in a day early and took them to the Chocolate World exhibit at Hersheypark. In addition to creating their own candy bars and tasting a variety of different chocolates, the team went on a ride that explains how Hershey’s chocolate is made.
One of the most notable aspects of the ride is a trio of female cows (Gabby, Harmony, and Olympia) that sing about the glories of milk chocolate. The players all agreed that this was a highlight of the experience. Little did they know that it would be the bone of contention in the days to come.
According to team sources, Galaxy LW Casey Thurman, D Kevin Buchanan, and F Gene Kennedy were especially fond of the song. And ever since, the three have taken to serenading their teammates with the jingle, in falsetto, everywhere the team goes. In the locker room before games, on the team plane, in restaurants, everywhere. The three players even bought pink boas to match those worn by the cows.
Needless to say, the constant singing has not been equally appreciated by all teammates. In particular, C Drustan Zarkovich reportedly threatened to kill the singers with his stick if they didn’t stop singing during a particularly long plane flight. The threats and complaints have reportedly only encouraged Thurman, Buchanan, and Kennedy to keep it up.
“I mean, it was funny at first,” said star LW Jefferson McNeely. “But there’s a point where it’s too much. I mean, you see three grown men walking down the street, singing in high voices and wearing pink boas… it’s weird. They’ve even started calling each other by the names of the stupid cows.”
Apprised of McNeely’s criticism, Thurman (“Gabby”) responded, “I’ve never had more fun in my life. I think in my soul, there’s always been a singing cow waiting to get out.”
For his part, Reagle doesn’t regret the bonding trip. “It’s the kind of thing the guys will be talking about all season,” said the coach. “Maybe eventually one of the guys will snap and start choking someone, and then I’ll have to intervene. But for now, I’m cool with it. Besides, I’ve heard them sing, and they’re not half bad. Of course, they’re not half good either.”